What do we fear the most?

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Lately, I was thinking what possible fear any human being could have in their lives?

I even anonymously asked a few folks (conducted a small survey) and to my surprise the answer was slightly similar amongst all. Most of us fear losing someone special or human connection. We all fear abandonment and that’s what I observed amongst people of familiar age group. Even if we draw a trajectory around fear, we will find people cannot survive alone and they want someone by their side. Preferably, that’s why marriages are created to keep two living beings who can possibly survive together. There is this instil fear and then our theory to adjust after marriages. Our manual for living prohibits hopping from one partner to another or breaking of marriage. The Ultimate goal is to be with someone with whom you can share and grow.


I have seen people who are stagnant due to severe obsession or love for their victim role. They perceive themselves as victims and keep themselves in that shell where people also send them the same energy of weakness and negativity. Trust me, Energy matters. If you radiate positive energy, people will perceive you as a positive and a happy person and that will follow you. It’s been almost 25 years and she is still the same person as she was years ago, with the same set of problems, complaints and blames. She hasn't changed her surroundings and the people whose actions were causing her that pain. At one stage we could understand that it was the society which was forcing her to stay in that same spectrum but after inward speculation, she chose that life, everyday and every time. She always had a choice to move out but she didn't attempt to try or maybe she did but she always came back. As far as I have understood, she is a victim of her own actions and attachments. She started extracting pleasure out of that pain she is constantly prone to but she wants to be there as again it's satisfying her ego too. 


I feel she had a choice, she still had a choice to move out but she chose that over everything. I am not denying the fact that her life isn't miserable, yet I feel even after 25 years there still is a scope to change it and live with it. Sometimes our wired deep instil fear does not let us grow, change or evolve. But we always have a choice to choose what kind of life we want to live. 


I have seen people continuing with unhappy marriages because of their kids, family and this fear of being alone in old age. Our upbringing is done in a way where we are taught to live with someone who can be compatible with you but if not then you gotta adjust all your life. 

Everyone has their own reasons to stay or leave but what else a human would want out of their lives in the end? So, the crux here is to understand that “we always have a choice but it's up to us what we choose at that moment”. Choose Wisely!


The idea behind starting "The Purple Anxiety" is to be a mental health advocate. Anxiety was one of my best friends but that was one hell of a journey. It took years to understand my triggers and what makes me feel safe. Today, a lot of us are suffering through these unwanted messages our bodies send us quite often whenever any uncomfortable situation arises. Some of us are aware of all the why's but again not everyone knows what's going inside us. I have been there, felt that pain and tracked a way out of it. I am lucky enough to find a way but it doesn't mean we have to keep the journey all by ourselves. I want to share my triggers, my why's and how miserable I felt whenever anxiety kicked in my body. I feel the more we share our emotional trauma bonds, the more we feel that we are not alone in this anymore. People want to feel safe, seen and heard. And That's the goal of The Purple Anxiety to make everyone feel safe.

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